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UNIVERSE LODGE No.705 G.R.C.

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CHAT CORNER - UNIVERSE LODGE


Definitely on the lighter side ... The "Dilbert" Zone

"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn years later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization."
(Petronius Arbiter, Roman Centurion, 210 B.C.)

And then there was the sign posted by the captain of the ship which read:
"Until moral of the crew improves, the daily floggings will continue!"

The Stone Cutter's Anthem (key of A Minor, in rollicking, fist pounding Bavarian Beer Hall style)

Who controls the British Crown? . . . . A E(lo) A B C B A
Who keeps the Metric System down? . . . . D A D E F E D
We do. We do. . . . . E B. A E(lo)

Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? . . . . as 1
Who keeps the Martians under wraps? . . . . as 2
We do. We do. . . . . EA. EA

Who holds back the electric car? . . . . B B C C D D Eb
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star? . . . . D D Eb Eb F F G
We do. We do. . . . . F C. E B

Who robs cave fish of their sight? . . . . as 1
Who rigs every Oscar night? ** . . . . as 2
We do. We do. . . . . E A. E A(hi, sustained)

Special thanks to that icon of american manhood (and role model for nuclear power station operators?) Bro.? Homer Simpson (as in the TV episode "Homer the Great ").
** The annual Oscar Night has been traditionally held and televised from the Masonic Shriner's Auditorium.

But the greatest love, the love above all loves, Even greater than that of the mother,
Is the tender passionate undying love, Of one beer-drunken slob for another. (Irish Toast)

Now ... a really offbeat Christmas Carol...

DECK US ALL WITH BOSTON CHARLIE (POGO by Walt Kelly © 1961)

Deck us all with Boston Charlie, Walla walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley, Swaller dollar cauliflower alley'garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel, Lullaby lilla boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold, Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly, Polly welly cracker n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol, Antelope Cantaloup, 'lope with you!

Hunky Dory's pop is lolly, gaggin' on the wagon, Willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow, Harum scarum five alarum bung-a-loo!

Duck us all in bowls of barley, Ninky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie, Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly, Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, Woof, Woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie! Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, Goof, Goof!

NOTE: This will have absolutely no meaning at all to anyone not far enough over the hill that they can't even remember ever being at the top. To those very few of us in that position still remaining, however, it is a precious moment in time. Back in the mid 1900's, there were 2 great "Walts" each doing there own special thing. Ancient cartoons were originally the most powerful form of satire (apart from opera). The medium later degenerated into innocuous entertainment for the masses. Walt Kelly blazed a trail back into the world of satire in a most sweet and gentle (and often quite zany) way with his cast of lovable critters in the Okefenokee Swamp (in Georgia and Florida). The unlikely alliance of a possum (Pogo) and an alligator (Allie) who spent their days together lazily fishing in a tiny wooden boat named the "Nancy O" (which would display other names when turned). They made the most insightful observations of contentious issues of the times in an inoffensive but unmistakably clear way (what is now known as "lampooning"). Fortunately others have chosen to follow Walt's trail, like Mad and later Doonesbury, Bloom County, B.C., The Far Side and Dilbert, thus returning the medium to its original true satirical form and use. People who turn first to the cartoon page in a newspaper were once thought childish but now medical science tells us that such people live longer! Thanks, Walt... (actually both Walts)

And yet another version of this carol: A lady, who was just jilted by her boyfriend, Oliver, was heard Christmas caroling at the top her her voice "Deck the halls with balls of Ollie"...

Now ... on the other (more serious) hand ... one of the greatest poems ever written ... of so very many ... ("IF" by Rudyard Kipling)

If you can keep your head when all about you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken, Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings, And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings, And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew, To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you, Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute, With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And-- which is more-- you'll be a Man, my son!

We all have heard the theory that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the world wide web, we know that this is most definitely NOT true! (QED ibid)

And now... to leave you with the wisdom of the ancient Tibetan monk high in the Himalayan mountains, the true meaning of life, the final and certain ultimate knowledge and truth that seekers throughout the ages have given up their fortunes and very lives in their attempts to learn, being... (drag mouse down)
Wet bird never flies at night ! . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . or does it ?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . the wise old monk is still not sure ! . . . . . .



Studley Tool Chest

The famous "H.O. Studley Tool Chest" is featured in New Yankee Workshop Norm Abrams short video here.
(Do you notice anything familiar about it?)
More can be read about this amazing 19th century tool chest here and here.



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thank you for your time, interest and patience ~ htm, stp, htma
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